New Beginnings...

Happy Martin Luther King day everyone!  The internet has been swimming with quotes on this historical day, but the one that keeps running through my mind is: "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."  As I sit on my couch with Olivebear purring on my crossed legs in front of my (amazing) new computer, I'm thinking about that quote and my life.  I am at a turning point, where for the first time I am not sure how the next couple of months are going to pan out.  (I'm so glad I have this perfect little grey kitty to keep me company!)  January has turned into a rather difficult, life changing month for me and I have no idea what is around the corner.  I start graduate school this week, January 25th marks the two year anniversary of my grandmother's death, and January 27th would have been the two year anniversary celebrating my relationship with someone I care about very much; but not everything goes as planned.  Even though I may be OCD with how I want my life to go, God sometimes has other ideas.  We have decided to take some time apart and I am trying to be okay with that.  A good friend recently told me that back during our freshmen year of college she went to see "The Love Doctor" when he came to campus and one of the things he said that stuck out to her had to do with being your own person.  Apparently he said something along the lines that couples should not be dependent on each other, but that they should be two independent people together.  I am a person who loves love, I enjoy taking care of people, I become very dependent on having someone there to be a part of me and in that process I may have forgotten a little bit what it's like to just be Mandy.  Like MLK, I have decided hate is too much work.  The anxiety that comes along with worry, doubt and the struggle to hate someone you love so much, even when things aren't working out, is too much weight for me to carry right now.  I'm making a decision to just let me be me and if someone is willing to accept me and give me unchanging love, then it's right, and if not, then in isn't.  Stealing words from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (you, know, my idols? not. haha, but I love the one with the English accent): someday I will find someone who wants to picture life with me, but also can't picture life without me.  That person may already be in my life, and I'm taking this time right now to figure that out.  Praying for a great February! :)      

On a lighter note, my kitchen is empty except some granola bars and cereal!  Totally unlike me.  As soon as I can get my shopping list finalized - I have a lot of healthy plans! - I am heading out to HyVee.  There are few simple pleasures I enjoy more than grocery shopping.  I know I've probably said it before, but I love going by myself, analyzing prices, reading ingredients and buying food.  Grocery shopping is something I look forward to and now I have a practically blank canvas kitchen to start with.  I'm planning on documenting everything I experiment with.  I'm anxious, but excited to start this new chapter.

Au revoir!